It's been two nights I couldn't really sleep, because I thought about him half of the night...I hurt him, and don't know what to do to make him feel better. I don't think when I talk... When I'm sad I usually don't talk to nobody these days. Which means that even when I'm happy...I couldn't talk to him?
Nonsense. Stop talking nonsense, Maria, it doesn't lead anywhere.
Then how about this, Twi? I still love him. Of course I still do. But I'm trying to forget him, by putting him aside. Because I want to love somebody who actually cherishes and gives that love a grand value (more than "grand") right at the start. Someone with whom my nights on msn don't resume to : help me with school, then let me educate you a bit 'bout life. Why'd you cry? It's stupid. He's talking to me again after a fight? Wow, thank you for -granting- me such a privilege! DAMN!
I'm too difficult and demanding? Well that IS me. I'm furious, furious about how I did not tell him about how I had enough to be just a doll for him - Oh wait, would he even have listened? Probably not, because I never have the good timing.
Right now I have someone who cherishes me, who manages to actually make me do other things than staying on the computer, who says things like "If I take you to Italy with me, they will all be jealous" - simple words that can make me smile and feel happy!-, who also works and tries to succeed, who is adorable, whom I look forward to seeing again. Random facts. Just random facts. But he is someone whom I want to dedicate my love to.
You know, if I didn't have that much confidence in you and loved you that much, I would have left you long ago. I kept telling myself, somewhere inside me, that it will all get better. I could have left you after you made me cry a river some nights... Julien told me - hey, he's not worth it, he makes you cry all along, leave him! - well, I couldn't. For the reasons I've stated earlier.
Come to think about it, now I can. I want to run onto something new. Life is long, and he is well worth a try. I think that you will also be able to forget me and find someone who will be on her knees to ask for your love - for whom you might fall. Who knows. I still love you, but I don't know if it's worth it anymore. Maybe you'll think the same, sooner or later.
As you are now, you can't get me back, that is for sure. And when you will change, maybe, you will see that it's not worth getting me back anymore. Be a good and successful person in life, with or without me.